About three months ago, we made the decision to postpone our wedding. We had a date chosen (hooray!) and a venue secured (relief!) and were starting to dive into the details of wedding planning, the nitty gritty.
Throughout our engagement we have prepared for marriage, attending premarital counseling and working at diving deep into the issues that most couples inevitably face. These are the ugly things in relationships and human nature that if left unaddressed and ignored, could cause heartache and strife later on.
Issues arose and wedding planning became stressful, fight inducing, and just plain wasn’t any fun. When we identified clearly what was going on with each of us individually and as a couple, we decided that, because of our tight wedding timeline we could either move forward with planning our wedding or we could take a timeout and work on our relationship, but we could not do both simultaneously. Moving forward with our wedding would likely be at the detriment of our relationship, so we made a tough call—we chose to postpone our wedding.
We both felt it was important that we work on these issues so that we can start married life together on the right foot, even if that meant postponing the wedding (and ruffling feathers). We continue to go through pre-marital counseling and feel blessed with how things have gone so far.
We are confident that taking this time has better prepared us to enter into married life as a team that can build one another up and, as God sees fit, enable us to better serve our community.
It goes without saying that this has been terribly challenging. The comfort has been that throughout making the decision to postpone the wedding there has been a sense of peace and comfort that it was the right decision. We praise God for His faithfulness and grace!
We are excited about what the future holds. Thank you for your love and prayers.
This Post Has 37 Comments
I am excited for both of you. Keeping you in prayers and trusting God will give you what you need to make all of those hard decisions, for all of the right reasons. You will be happy you took the time to listen. You are both such great kids. Love and miss you. A. Wendy
This is such a courageous and meaningful message Rachel, a decision I’m not sure many others could make: possibly disappointing family and friends or yourselves. You continue to be someone I look up to.
Good for you. More couples should concentrate on planning the marriage and less on the wedding. Keeping you and your future in prayer.
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Wow, yeah. I’d say you have your priorities right. 🙂 Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
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We found it nearly impossible for our wedding planning to not trump all ‘working on relationship’ time. I don’t know how weddings are so inherently stressful, but they just are. Good on you guys for pursuing peace through a hard decision.
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Good for you!
Thanks for sharing Andrew, I will be praying for you guys!
As a couples’ counselor, I really respect and admire y’all’s decision!
You are so awesome Rachel Hofacker!
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I am impressed, Rachel. You have made a very wise and God-honoring decision.
I pray that as you work on your relationship you will feel a deeper presence of our Lord and a deeper love, respect and commitment to each other! God Bless!
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It’s so refreshing to be friends with such thoughtful people. 🙂
Wow, brave choice!
Thanks, everyone! 🙂
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I’m actually going through this right now and it makes me feel less alone. No one really gets it. Wedding planning is tough, relationships are hard and decisions suck. I know that the time is necessary to maintain a healthy relationship. It’s about who you chose to spend your life with not the party.