A Banana, Ring Toss, and The Fair

Rachel and I did the Puyallup on Saturday for our second year in a row! Rachel was obsessed about finding a UV teeth whiten booth, and I love looking at all the vendors. Of course, we had fair food and made ourselves sick on the rides…although Rachel still refuses to ride The Zipper with me.

There were two women in front of us in the line to play skee ball who had a giant tamale— it stood about as tall as the women, too. They won it playing ring toss. Naturally this was our next stop.

I failed to make any rings using my patent pending spinning technique, but Rachel managed to snag one of the bottles!

I insisted that we haul the prize around the fair a show of our skill and prowess. We got lots of, “Nice banana,” comments to which I wanted to respond, “Your mom said the same thing.” You’ll know why I refrained from saying that if you’ve ever been to the fair before. Showing of the fruits of our labor became quickly because labor intensive as oversize bananas are unwieldy and will not fit in your pocket.

As we made our not-so-quick run to the car to deposit our item, two things started to concern me immensely: was the banana even going to fit in the car; and what were we going to do with such an over-sized banana if we could fit it in the car?

Other people asked these questions too and I assured them that my Subaru could handle any size load. We managed to get banana into the car after following these steps:

  1. Open drivers door
  2. Roll down driver-side rear-door window
  3. Move drivers seat as far forward as possible
  4. Open driver side rear door
  5. Lay down rear seats
  6. Open hatch
  7. Insert banana into trunk space, with tail sticking out driver-side rear-door
  8. Force hatch closed
  9. Lift “tail” of banana and close driver-side rear-door so that the “tail” is sticking out the window
  10. From drivers open door, push “tail” back towards center of car and close driver-side rear-door window
  11. Push drivers seat back to original position

When we got home, we did the only reasonable thing we could do: put it in my roommates bed.

Photo/caption by Jacob Blount.

We now have a giant bananna with an afro sitting on my front porch. The default option is to take it to the dump, but that’s seems anticlimactic. Yet, we can’t just leave it there.

What do you think we should do with it, preferably integrating a safe disposal technique in the process?

Comments

  1. Leave it on a stranger’s porch with a note saying “Pay It Forward” and hope it keeps going. The bananaman deserves to have a great life.

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